Have you ever wondered why you came into this world?

Are we here to learn lessons, to grow through love and loss, and to discover who we truly are? Or have we become so consumed with finding meaning in everything that happens to us that we’ve forgotten something equally important - we are also here to enjoy being alive?

As a Melbourne-based phone psychic offering readings across Australia, I’ve spent more than 25 years listening to people searching for answers about their relationships, careers and futures.

But underneath those questions often lies something far more profound.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Why do I keep attracting the same type of person?”

“Why does everyone else seem to be moving forward while I feel stuck?”

And sometimes, the question that touches me most:

“Will I ever be genuinely happy?”

These questions have made me think deeply about what we’re really doing here.

What 25 Years as a Phone Psychic in Australia Have Taught Me About Life

When someone contacts me for a psychic reading, they usually have a very specific concern. Will their relationship survive? Will an ex-partner return? Will their financial circumstances improve? Is a significant change approaching?

But something interesting can happen during a reading. The conversation moves beyond what might happen next and begins revealing what the person is experiencing right now.

Sometimes someone will say:

“That’s exactly what I’m going through. How did you know?”

For me, one of the most meaningful parts of a reading is helping someone examine a situation they may have struggled to put into words. And over the years, one particular observation has stayed with me.

People aren’t always searching for their future. Sometimes they’re searching for an explanation for their past.

They want to understand why somebody hurt them, why their efforts haven’t been rewarded or why life hasn’t unfolded as they imagined. But here’s what I often wonder:

What if understanding every painful experience isn’t a requirement for moving forward?

If Life Is About Learning Lessons, Why Do We Keep Repeating Them?

Consider someone who repeatedly becomes involved with emotionally unavailable partners. They fall deeply in love, overlook the warning signs and convince themselves that this relationship will be different. Eventually, they’re disappointed. They leave, recover and promise themselves they’ll never accept that treatment again.

Then someone new appears.

Different face. Different circumstances. Remarkably similar outcome.

Is that a spiritual lesson they haven’t mastered? Or could it be a familiar emotional pattern involving attachment, expectations, personal boundaries and the choices they’ve learned to make?

There are different ways to interpret these experiences. Spiritual traditions may view repeated difficulties as opportunities for growth. Psychology offers explanations involving learned behaviours, emotional needs and relationship experiences. Neither perspective requires us to believe that suffering was deliberately arranged for our benefit.

And sometimes, the most valuable question isn’t:

“Why has the universe sent me this lesson again?”

It’s:

“What am I willing to do differently this time?”

Because recognising a pattern and changing a pattern are two very different things.

Have We Become So Focused on Growing That We’ve Forgotten How to Be Happy?

We hear so much about personal development, spiritual awakening, healing and becoming the best version of ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow. But when did ordinary happiness become something we have to earn? When did enjoying a peaceful relationship, laughing over dinner, spending time with friends or simply having a good day become less important than discovering our life’s purpose?

Some people become so focused on what they’re supposed to learn from an experience that they forget to ask whether the experience is making them happy. Imagine remaining in an unhappy relationship because you believe the other person was brought into your life to teach you something. You tolerate disappointment. You wait for change. You convince yourself there must be a greater spiritual reason for staying.

But what if the most important realisation is that you’re allowed to leave? What if choosing yourself is enough?

Not every relationship is meant to last. Not every disappointment contains a hidden message. And not every difficult chapter needs to become a lifelong lesson.

Sometimes, something ends because it no longer works. And that, too, can be understood without searching for a grand explanation.

Does Everything Happen for a Reason?

This is one of the most familiar spiritual beliefs. And for many people, believing that difficult experiences have a purpose provides genuine comfort. I respect that. But I also believe we need to be careful about what we tell people who are suffering. Would we tell a grieving mother that she needed to experience her loss to evolve spiritually? Would we tell someone who has endured years of hardship that they must have chosen those experiences before coming into this world? We have no reliable evidence that people choose particular tragedies before birth or that every hardship serves a predetermined spiritual purpose. And I don’t believe people should be made to feel responsible for suffering they never chose. There is an important distinction between believing that everything happens for a reason and finding meaning in something after it has happened.

Perhaps meaning isn’t always something we’re given. Sometimes it’s something we create through the way we choose to live afterwards.

That distinction allows room for spirituality without taking away our compassion.